PLACE YOUR BETS ? TUSKER ama your GACUGWA

So wats in people, wats good, was happenin in ur space, in ur place, in ur town, in ur hood, in ur digoloz, in ur bunker, wat are u carrying inside that handbag that you dont want us to see, ni mangumu ( those tiny mandanyoz ), n i heard wasichana siku hizi munaweka hand held blow driers kwa bag, i dont know how true that vibe is, lakini i can only imagine.

And with the current unpredictable shower storms of Nairobi i also hear a pair of gum boots come in handy, which reminds me, i was informed there are new gucci ama sijui ni Louis Vuitton ndulaz ( a.k.a njumu ama viatu ) for dendeiz , that look like gum boots !!! 

So wazeeiya, brace urselves , Nairobi as we know it is about to turn into a shao scenario, where every shorty will be looking like a farmer on the rise !

Ebu just picture a scene in ur head vile wasee hutoka works tao wakienda home na psyk, alafu kila mshi unaona anatembea haraka na tu gumboots ..... na vile hizo vitu hupiga kelele, si u know that ka squeeshy sound, 

" kochoko kochoko kochoko" , hehe, i know we all remember this coz si wote tulizivaa.

Ma-Q, those gumboots never used to fit vizuri coz mapero wameona long term investment ...

 " Atazivaa mpaka afike class 8 ! " Na saa hiyo uko class 3 " lol !

How I got the info 4 those " Louis Vuitton BOOTS" ( a.k.a "YANAZ"... after YANA tyres ) was totally INVOLUNTARY :-) 

So some geniuses did a survey and discovered that Most , key word "MOST"men like women. 

Hehe, and people are paid to do this, what a douche !

Ahaa, so wats the point of contention u may ask ? .... Most men like beer too !

Tusker, Heineken, Sierra, Castle , Guinness, etc, u name it ! They all just sit well when chilled. 

Am sure most men , high on beer, made sure the survey didn't come out 100% in favor of men loving women only ...... and hence i wondered why ?

Why would a full grown ass nikka, say .... maybe, beer rules, maybe, beer just hits the SPOT ! 

Ahaa :-) i see a couple of u the dudes go like " NDASKA NI YA ME and THE MBOYS " 

And most of the women reading this are like , " U ARE JUST A DRUNK " , but some women also do admit that beer or wine (for those with a more delicate pallet), when compared to men , wine wins, actually they say wine just moves mountains for them ... :-) How? Go figure ! lol !

As i was sayn ... for men it becomes a rather confusing choice btw women and beer! I dug up a couple of finding or reasons that were given during the survey and they are just going to help you analyze which is better ! Ladies, please, kindly take it in the right sense. :-)

Numero uno ! A Beer is always wet, a woman is not! 1 point for beer! lol !

( Oh.....na ka siku-mention it's a points game )

Beer is horrible, when it is hot ! 1 point for women! So u see, u get a point too. N it continues like that and at the end we tally up the scores. Cool ?

A cold beer, satisfies you! 1 point for beer! lol ! ( this views are not mine :-) )

10 beers in a night and then you cant drive. 10 women in one night and you dont have to drive anywhere! 1 point for women! I concure :-)

The older the beer is - the better, it is! 1 point for beer! lol ! 

Many beers can make you see space ships and ish. Many women can make you see God! 1 point for women! lol !! 

If you ask yourself how the next woman will be, you are normal. If you ask yourself how the next beer will be, you are an alcoholic! 1 point for women! Hehe, uwache kukunywa , unaskia ?

For a beer, you pay taxes! 1 point for women! :-) Kwanza wit the tax we lipa in Kenya, ma slov ( i.e. chics ) should get two points on this. Na hao ma M.P. walipe ushuru ! CHOKA SSSSSSSANA ! 

........ Back to the comparison.........

If you take a second beer, the first one doesnt get angry! 1 point for beer! lol !

You can always be sure that, you are the first one opening a beer! 1 point for beer! Unless u drink beer in Rwanda, but that's a story for another day :-)

If you shake a beer, after a while it calms down by itself! 1 point for beer! hehe.

You know exactly how much a beer costs! 1 point for beer!

A beer does not have a mother ! 1 point for beer! hehe.... Ouch !! I know 4 the guys out there wit a mother in law who just kills every little achievement u do and she visits every month ..... HIGH 5 ! Smack !

You can do it if you want, but beer will never ask you to hug her for half an hour after! 1 point for beer! :-)

So the Score is ....

(DRUM ROLL PLEASE..........dududududududududududu....... DISH !!! ... u got 2 love the sound effects )

Beer beats Ladies  9 to 5 !!!

Nw, if you iz a dendei and u reading this and u gettn all puffed up and u gettn angry, please, undertstand that a beer .... would never get angry! 

So... Another point for beer! :-)

Now the final score is … Beer beats Chics 10 to 5! LOL !

Still on beer and chics ,I was reading this article and i quote ....

"Yesterday, scientists for Health Canada suggested that men should take a look at their beer consumption, considering the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer.  The theory is that drinking beer makes men turn into women. "

haha, WTF !!!! 

.......... and i continue .........

"To test the finding, 100 men were fed 6 pints of beer each.  It was then observed that 100% of the men gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became overly emotional, couldn’t drive, failed to think rationally, argued over nothing, and refused to apologize when wrong."

"No further testing is planned."

Hahaha, nw i get it !!!

But that wasn't the joke of the day...... "THE" Joke of the day is a about a guy, a monkey and its really dumb, laughed mpaka it had me crack a rib ... No?? U don't believe me? Easy then , soma uone :-) Visualize it, if u can .

A MONKEY and A GUY

A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking, the monkey jumps all around the place. 

The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them. Then grabs some sliced limes and eats them. Then jumps onto the pool table, grabs one of the billiard balls, sticks it in his mouth, and to everyone's amazement, somehow swallows it whole.

The bartender screams at the guy "Did you see what your monkey just did?"

The guy says "No, what?" "He just ate the cue ball off my pool table-whole!"

"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy. "He eats everything in sight, the little bastard. Sorry. I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff." He finishes his drink, pays his bill, pays for the stuff the monkey ate, then leaves.

Two weeks later he's in the bar again, and has his monkey with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again. 

While the man is finishing his drink, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it. The bartender is disgusted. 

"Did you see what your monkey did now?" he asks.

"No, what?" replies the guy. "Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry up his butt, pulled it out, and ate it!" said the bartender.

"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy. 

" He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he swallowed that cue ball, he measures everything first..." 

hahahahahaha ! SILLY MONKEY !

P.s.  

For the chic who inboxed me those phoroz of u ukiosha nguo ..... NO !! Please STOP that ! i say NO NO NO !!! I didn't even know what to make of that, was it like a resume for ur good wit ur hands ..... ??? 

KLAT KING must have missed the point wit you ! :-)

And with that, AM OUT !!!

KLAT OUT !!! BRAP !

Watu wajienjoy, Weekendi Njema !