WHAT TYPE OF ANIMAL ARE YOU IN BED ?

Oyaa Oyaa !

Wsup gud people, krazzy weekend aat waz, been in recovery mode, as have most of u sinners :-) 

Am sure u bastards had a jolly gud laugh when 6 p.m clocked on sato and ur sorry ass was still on the couch hands dipped in a bag of crisps, muchn away with that silly smurk on ur face ! I mean the Messiah was coming 4 ur dumb ass to be judged n u still had on that Arsenal jersey ....  hahaha! 
Shame on u! ( BAD JOKE ??? ) :-) I KID ! 

So .... boo hoo to the Geezer and his followers. There was no way that Father Krismas lookn nikka was going to prove his nuts would carry the day with his meth-head predictions. The guys is like 80smthn, right ? He knew he was gonna meet his maker, probably ana cancer ya magwado ( these are NUTS / BALLS just incase i lost u there ) na doc alimshow he'll kick it by that day n people just followed this crazy ass fool !! GOMONGO !!!

So 2day Klat King has dfntly gotta hit u wit smthn fresh, moto moto , but i gotta admit coming up wit new material is hard, if i was bloggn bout my life and it read on and on like a La Muher Ntakushika or a Cuando Sio Kipindi , then dfntly, ad have like 4 gazillion posts bt hold onto ur Bra Straps ( if u cant, unaeza achilia, :-)) ) am gettn there !

So wat animal are u in bed ? This one i gotta hear 4rm all of u coz i have a close friend who told me he's a tiger ! A Tiger ? hmm .... Are there any women out there who wana do the brains out of a tiger ?

Al go on and describe a few creatures/livestock/wildlife, and being a dude, off course al be biased n ama do a comparison of the women, these awesome chics we know , hawa wenye tunaonanga kwa streets of NRB, MBS, Naks, KISII :-))) DAR, RSA, AFricA, damn ! Just so u know, Klat King would wanna live with all of u pretty women, n NRB is the mother of the Competition, NO DOUBT !!! Ukweli ama uwongo ?

So ..... you tell me ..... ? Wat animal ...... best ....... describes ya fine ass ? 

Panya/ Mouse - This is the gal who comes thru' to ur digs, u know in the cox, those hours hata Mungiki huwanga wamefunga works ! She's tiny in stature, petite they call her n in the sack she turns n tosses n wriggles around by the slightest touch, lakini usifanye blunder ya kuakisha stima, Boss, LIGHTS on and she squeels, she prefers it wit the lights off ! How to cope with her ? Stock up the fridge , hide ur clothes and u gotta keep an eye out 4 this one boyz, yessss .... she's a nibber :-) yesss...... ata uma uma wewe, jihadhari ! hehe ! 

Pig / LOG - This category i prefer not to expound on lest i be called JINGA HII ! Lakini ..... WTH, she hogz like krazzy and si wa Mastyro, she just lays over there, hahaha  ( hence the term log ). How to cope with her ?
AVOID !!!!

p.s. by pig i dont mean fat, she can be big/vulumptious n still rock ur world, so respect that type of lady !!!

Ding'oing'o / Bumble bee - hehe, have this chic in the hauz and all ur neighbours will know u had sex last night, n its nt ur ordinary kelele. U know the type of kelele mpaka neighbaz wonder whether u tandika ur chic ?hehe, then ni hiyo kelele ndo nasema ! Na ati she's calls herself a buzzer not ..... a screamer ! Ati wen she's done with u my guy, it Game OVER ! Brap !!!

Camel - Nw unless ur the proud owner of a viagra company or those energy perfomance drinks n shit, stay away 4rm this chic ! This dendei can go on 4 days , bila maji bila chakula, so ka unajua u dont have  battery pack in that mwili of urs kijana ! Washana na huyu dem, am serious ! Na hatatoka kwa nyumba, huyu mwiitie kajoH ! If u thnk u can hack, then just thnk of it like a week long of fastn n humpn ! :-) Merit is she dazn't eat alot like the atha one, the nanio wa hapo juu .... hakulangi like the ka LOG ! lol ! 

Possum - Tiny and compact, can dangle 4rm up a tree, so be ready 4 those styles uv never heard of like, "babe can we do the BERMUDA TRIANGLE", n ur there askn ur butt naked self, " C baby i thot that was a movIE n not a mOVE "... hehe, pole sana boss, but usijali, ur in gud hands dude, the flexibility that comes with this package, is a plus no doubt ! :-)

Parrot - haha, nw u gotta be careful with this one, she the one every dude wants to tap, but then again, she kinda 4gets the idea that its an act only the both of u should know about ! So she will tell Linda, Grace, Njoki, Brenda, Steff, Wanja, Bella, Mary, Anne, Kiki, Stella, Kemunto, Nyambz, Pamella, Doreen, aunt nanio ...... hehe, she jst daznt get it ! N it gets even worse if the sex was BAD, then my friend ul be the equivalent of a chimp layn a goose egg and si ile golden ! Bt if the outcome was awesome, lets jst say she might have done u a little bit of necessary R&R, if u get wat i mean , eeeeh :-)

Nyoka / Snake - Poison, sumu, mchawi no.1, she bites, stings n leaves u 4 broke ! Wachana na hawa ndogo ndogo wa Majengo ! end result, UKIMWI ! Bt .... she gives pretty descent BJ , am just sayn :-)) lol ! bt stay away ! 

Kibogoyo / Hippo - I mean should i really explain this one ???? No TEETH ??? Its that obvious, u know why ul be going home to this dendei kila siku (saa zingine umehepa works mapema unamngoja kwa gate ni kaa wewe ndo wochi wa hiyo mtaa ) n why ul be the most honest n commited husband out there in the whole republic ! hehe ! 

So ...... does that mean that all men want a kibogoyo ? Kart Williams thnks so, Eddie Murphy thnks so, Martin Lawrence also thnks that way, even Prince William, the bloody prince of the goddamn kingdom of Britain chose a "hippo" 
( BTW she is HOTTT ) ! Bt seriously .... am sure there are some animals that i have NOT mentioned, that u so know u are, :-) so feel free to post UR INNER ANIMAL SPIRIT below ! :-)

And we cannot 4get the joke of the day, these wea actually posted by some crazzy people out there on their Resumes and Cover Letters as they looked 4 joboz ! haha ! Enjoy ! N do not follow their ways , i beg !!!! :-))

Resumes and Cover Letters

1. I demand a salary commiserate with my extensive experience. 

2. I have lurnt Word Perfect 6.0 computor and spreadsheet progroms.

3. Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year. ( must have been a Kaleo, lmao)

4. Reason for leaving last job: maturity leave. 

5. Wholly responsible for two (2) failed financial institutions. 

6. Failed bar exam with relatively high grades. 

7. Its best for employers that I not work with people. 

8. Lets meet, so you can OOh and AAh over my experience. 

9. You will want me to be Head Honcho in no time. 

10. Am a perfectionist and rarely if ever forget details. 

11. I was working for my mom until she decided to move. 

12. Marital status: single. Unmarried. Unengaged. Uninvolved. No commitments.

13. I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse. ( lmfao )

14. I am loyal to my employer at all costs ... Please feel free to respond to my 

      resume on my office voice mail. 

15. I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely no one and absolutely 

     nothing. 

16. My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I possess no training in meterology, 

     I suppose I should try stock brokerage. 

17. I procrastinate, especially when the task is unpleasant. 

18. As indicted, I have over five years of analyzing investments.

19. Personal interests: donating blood. Fourteen gallons so far. ( haha, 2 harsh )

20. Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store. ( lmao )

21. Note: Please don't miscontrue my 14 jobs as job-hopping. 
     I have never quit a job. ( lol )

22. Marital status: often. Children: various. ( lol )

23. Reason for leaving last job: They insisted that all employees get to work by 

     8:45 a.m. every morning. Could not work under those conditions. ( hehehe )

24. The company made me a scapegoat, just like my three previous employers. 

25. Finished eighth in my class of ten. ( Bett is this you ? )

26. References: None. I've left a path of destruction behind me.
     ( Konan the Barbarian perhaps ??.... No ? ) 

KLAT OUT !!!! BRAP !